In the world of coaching and leadership, the goal is to empower individuals to succeed. This holds true for CEOs, as their personal growth directly impacts the growth of the company and its employees. When a CEO takes the initiative to improve themselves, it sets off a chain reaction that leads to improved performance at both individual and organizational levels.
My personal greatest fears and missteps boil down to two: the fear of failure and the fear of loss. I was raised in an Asian, military household. My fears were many, including, but not limited to, grades, sports, my family and our tenuous living situations. I admit this freely, knowing that most, if not all, CEO’s can find the same fears within themselves.
How about we delve deeper into the concept of fear of failure? This fear stems from a learned belief that we are not good enough and that our value is dependent on external factors such as our actions, appearance, and opinions of others. I was greatly influenced by all these factors. This belief can exert a negative influence on our personal and professional lives. If we take an honest assessment of our lives, we will see how this mindset has shaped our worldview and current circumstances.
However, it is important to realize that fear of failure is not a fixed reality but rather a perspective that can be changed. We have the power to challenge this belief and not let it dictate our approach to important aspects of life. By exercising clear thinking, seeking professional support, if needed, and making conscious decisions, we can overcome this fear and make choices that truly benefit us in the long run.
Now, let's shift our focus to the fear of loss. Fear of loss arises from a false belief that we have control where we do not. We continually play defense, allowing opportunities and relationships to pass us by in our isolated and fearful state. Unfortunately, the people around us often reinforce these messages, positing unhelpful scenarios or questions. My greatest fear was to lose those I love, having become so close with my siblings from our constant moving around while I was young.
Even CEOs, who are leaders in their organizations, struggle with unconscious decision-making driven by these false beliefs. They may be unaware of the impact of their actions on their belief systems. Larry, a friend, client and war veteran discovered this the hard way. As CEO of a growing company, he defaulted to his military training. He tried and increasingly failed to monitor, spearhead and control every aspect of his company. By the time he came to me for help, he had no personal life and was suffocating his business by needing to control every outcome.
After much trial and error, Larry eventually hired a President, COO and even a new CEO! This helped him achieve greater work-life balance and mitigated his fear of losing control. In the end, Larry understood that the success of his business ultimately hinged on his ability to avoid being at the center of every problem by delegating authority to his executives. He felt more at peace with himself because he relinquished his incessant need for control. If he had not, he would still be repeating the cycle that kept his company from experiencing real growth.
It is crucial to recognize that our value is unchangeable and not dependent on external factors. Embracing this truth is essential if we want to transform our lives for the better.
Reprogramming our subconscious thinking is a key step in accepting our inherent value and to overcoming fear of failure and fear of loss. Trust and love are two powerful elements that can help us in this process. I learned this valuable lesson from my coach, and it completely changed my life. Incorporating trust into our subconscious and integrating love as a necessary element can lead us to undeniable truth.
By focusing on trust and love, we can reprogram our subconscious minds, which have been heavily influenced by societal norms and advertising. Trusting in ourselves and in the process of personal growth allows us to navigate through life with confidence and certainty. Love, when directed inwardly, enables us to recognize our inherent worth and value.
Fear of failure and fear of loss can have a significant impact on our personal and professional lives. It is important to prioritize personal growth and belief transformation, as this not only benefits us but also creates a ripple effect that leads to improved performance and success for those around us. So, embrace the power of belief, reprogram your subconscious, and watch your fears relinquish their hold on your life.